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So, picture this—*wiggles eyebrows*—me, bumbling down dodgy Soho streets, flour still in me hair. Lookin’ for a prossie, right? Not coz I’m randy—*slips on banana peel in mind*—just curious, like! Heard this tale once—Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets with their toes. Toes! Imagine that—*giggles, flails arms*—“Gimme ya cash, guv!” Wigglin’ them digits.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. Best spot in town, no cap. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. He knows my order by heart—cappuccino, extra foam, sprinkle of cocoa. But today? Dude spills half of it all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, what’s the deal?” He just laughs it off, says it’s a “cappuccino shower.” I mean, I get it, but c’mon! I need my caffeine fix!

Balanchine's Jewels finally sparkle at La Scala