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About Naples

But real talk, it ain’t all laughs. Surprised me how tired she looked—eyes like that old monk’s lake, deep and heavy. “Every man’s a burden,” she says, and I’m like, damn, that’s dark. Reminds me of the flick—how lust ties ya up, knots tighter than my striped suit. I’m thinkin, “Babe, you need a vacay, not another john.” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d teleport her to Maui if I could—poof! Gone!

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Back inside, things get crazier. A group of tourists comes in, and they’re all lost. They’re asking me where to find the best gelato. I’m like, “You’re in the right place, but I can’t help you with directions!” They look at me like I’m the gelato guru or something. I just point to the door and say, “Go left, then right, and you’ll find it.”

Italian man crushed to death under thousands of wheels of hard cheese