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So, anyway, I’m chattin up this bird—red hair, curves like a Dornish coastline. She’s all, “What’s yer fancy, love?” and I’m like, “Fancy’s you, obviously.” Got a laugh outta her—felt like a king, I did. Reminded me o’ that line, “Loyalty is a rare commodity”—she stuck round for a chat after, no extra charge. Rare as unicorn shit, that.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s peeking through my window on Via Roma. I’m like, “Cool, let’s do this.” Grabbed a quick espresso from the bar down the street. You know, the one on Piazza della Libertà? Best coffee ever! I mean, if you’re not buzzin’ after that, are you even alive?

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