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I sidle over. “Hey, darlin’ – how’s biz?” She squints. Sizes me up. “You got caps – or you just talk?” Caps! Ha! Straight outta – the movie. I’m laughin’. Inside my head. She don’t know – I’m picturin’ her. Ridin’ shotgun – in the War Rig. Me? I’m Max. Broodin’. Silent. But – I talk anyway. “Look, I ain’t here – to waste time.” She smirks. “Time’s all I got – ‘til the next john.”

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First off, I’m settin’ up my spot near Via dei Pini. You know, the usual—towel, sunscreen, and my trusty whistle. I’m feelin’ like a boss, ready to save lives and soak up some rays. But then, BAM! A kid runs past me, trippin’ over his own feet, and spills his gelato all over my flip-flops. Like, seriously? I just got these! I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!”

Municipalities in Lazio: yesterday the turnout was 45,9 per cent