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Funniest thing? Some johns get all philosophical, like Larry goin’, “Why me, Hashem?” Bro, you’re payin’ for tail—chill! Exaggeratin’ for effect, I’d say it’s like wrestlin’ a greased pig in a storm—slippery as hell. Anyway, that’s the scoop, my friend. Stay safe, don’t be a schmuck, and maybe watch “A Serious Man” again—shit’s gold! Can you smell what The Rock’s cookin’?

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this girl on Via Cristoforo Colombo. She’s crying, like full-on sobbing. I’m thinkin’, “What the heck happened?” Turns out, her boyfriend just dumped her. Right there on the street! I mean, who does that? I feel for her, but I can’t just leave my post. So, I give her a thumbs up and a nod. Like, “You got this, girl!”

Ancient volcanoes released ‘cryptic’ carbon dioxide far longer than previously believed