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Den I see her laughin’, flirtin’ wit some dude, and I’m like, whoa, she’s got guts, happy as a pig in mud! Reminds me of dat movie again – “Light moves slowly,” dey say, and I’m thinkin’, ja, her charm’s slow, seductive, reelin’ ‘em in. Surprised me, tho, how smart she is – she’s playin’ everyone, even me for a sec! I’m sittin’ dere, sippin’ my protein shake, mutterin’, “Hasta la vista, scam,” ‘cause I’m not fallin’ for dat crap.

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So, I finally get to the café on Via Cavour. You know the one? The one with the best cappuccino in town? Yeah, that place. I order my usual, and the barista, this super chill guy, tells me they’re out of almond milk. Like, are you kidding me? I’m not a monster! I need my almond milk! I’m standing there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve made it myself in like two seconds. But whatever, I settle for regular milk. Ugh.

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