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Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, a bleedin’ clergyman, stompin’ through life’s dark forest, like in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, yeah? That flick’s my jam—twisted, beautiful, brutal. So, findin’ a prostitute, right? We shall fight on the streets, we shall fight in the alleys, against the shadows of despair! Ain’t no faun guidin’ me here, just gut and grit. I’m thinkin’, bloody hell, it’s like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man—dodgy, dangerous, but you gotta push through.

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First off, I hit the Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders a macchiato. Like, c’mon, bro, it’s 7 AM! Who drinks that at this hour? Anyway, I finally get my coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. I take a sip, and boom! My day’s lookin’ up.

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