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So, where do ya start? Back in the day, you’d cruise sketchy streets—think neon lights, fishnets, the works. Now? It’s all online, baby! Apps, sites, whatever—swipe right for a good time. Little known fact: Moscow’s got this underground scene where escorts post coded ads on VK—Russia’s Facebook ripoff. “Massage, 2k rubles,” yeah, right, massage my ass! I can see the hustle from here, and it’s shady as fuck.

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So, I hit the streets, right? I’m cruisin’ down Via Roma, and I’m feelin’ good. The cafes are buzzin’, people chattin’ over their cappuccinos. I’m like, “Yeah, this is the life.” But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the grossest, murkiest water you can imagine. Like, what even is that? I’m pretty sure I saw a rat swim by. Gross!

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