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About Myself
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I see her—legs like a fuckin’ dream, leanin’ on a busted lamppost. She’s chewin’ gum, loud as shit, poppin’ it like she’s tryna piss me off. I’m like, “Yo, how much?” She squints, sizes me up—prolly thinks I’m a broke-ass loser. “50,” she says, flat. I’m pissed, man! 50 bucks? For what, a quickie? I’m thinkin’, “I’m not a charity case here!”—straight outta *Social Network* vibes. But I’m horny, so I shrug, “Fine, whatever.”
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Finally, I get the machines working. Thank goodness! I’m milking away, and it’s going smooth. Then, bam! One of the cows decides it’s time to kick. I’m dodging like I’m in a freakin’ action movie. “Not today, Bessie!” I yell. The other workers are cracking up. I’m just trying to keep my cool.
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