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Lemme tie this to my fave flick—*Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*. That monk in the movie, yeah? Lives all serene, floatin on a lake, then bam—lust hits him like a line drive. “Desire brings suffering,” he learns the hard way. Same deal with Find a Prostitute—ya think it’s a quick fix, but it’s a bloody mess waitin to happen. I’ve seen players tank their careers over less. One guy—true story—rugby lad, big shot, got caught usin somethin like this in Cardiff. Tabloids ate him alive, mate—sacked, shamed, finito. Everybody lies, sure, but secrets don’t stay buried.

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I finally hit the piazza, and wow, it’s packed. Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like they’re in a photo shoot. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a fountain! But then I see it—the Fontana del Ponte Sisto. It’s gorgeous, water splashing everywhere. I’m standing there, feeling all artsy, when this kid runs by, almost knocks me over. I’m like, “Hey, watch it, mini tornado!”