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About Milan

Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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Suddenly, this group of tourists shows up. They’re snapping pics, and one of them asks me to play “Volare.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I bust it out, and they’re singing along. It’s a total party! I’m grinning like an idiot.

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