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About Milan

Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m no expert, just a bumbling fool stumblin’ through life’s mess. “Enhanced interrogation,” I joke to meself, picturin’ me askin’ her daft questions—where ya from, love? What’s yer fave crisp flavour? She’d prob’ly wallop me—fair dos. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but it’s a lark, innit? Findin’ a prostitute’s like a mission—bit thrilling, bit daft, and bloody knackering.

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So, I head to my first appointment. This guy, let’s call him Luca, is a real piece of work. He walks in, looking like he just rolled outta bed. I mean, come on, man! We’re in Ossi, not a zombie movie. He starts talking about his ex, and I’m like, “Dude, get over it!” But he’s all dramatic, saying, “She was my everything!” I’m thinking, “Bro, you’re 25. You’ll find another ‘everything’ in no time.”

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