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Once saw this lass, right, fishnets ripped, smokin’ a cig like she owned the night. Made me laugh—ha! “We needs it, precious!” I thinks. But nah, it’s grim—dudes leerin’, all sweaty, made me mad as hell. Why’s it gotta be so skeevy? Little fact fer ya—back in old London, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” poetic, huh? Sounds nicer than it is! We hates it—filthy coins changin’ hands, like some stinkin’ goblin trade.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up my fave spot, Pizzeria Da Michele. Best pizza in Monteiasi, hands down. I order a margherita, and while I’m waiting, I chat with the owner, Luigi. He’s a character, always cracking jokes. He says, “You look like you need a vacation!” I laugh, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I need a miracle.”

Taranto: Electricity theft with damages of 110 thousand euros for the supplier, 8 tenants reported