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She hops in. Smells like – bubblegum and danger. I’m sold. We talk – she’s done this gig forever. Says – “I’ve seen weirder than YOU.” Doubt it, honey! I’m Christopher – fuckin’ – Walken! I tell her – “Ever seen *Holy Motors*?” She hasn’t. Figures. I say – “It’s art! Like YOU!” She rolls her eyes. Hilarious. I’m crackin’ up.

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So, yeah, that was my day. Full of ups and downs, laughter and chaos. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Well, maybe a day without puddles. But hey, that’s life, right?

Briton who said he was abducted and tortured in Italy 'staged the kidnapping,' his 'captors' claim