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Oh, and get this—she said some girls use fake names from old movies! How cool is that? I’d pick “SpongeBob,” but that’s taken, heh! Anyway, it’s wild out there—makes me wanna hide under a rock. But nah, I’m tellin’ ya, it’s real life, messy and loud! What ya think, buddy? Crazy, right?

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Then, I remember I gotta meet my boss at this restaurant, Trattoria da Nino. It’s on Via Giuseppe Mazzini, and it’s always packed. I get there, and my boss is already at the table, looking all serious. I sit down, and he starts talking about job satisfaction and how it relates to attractiveness. I’m like, “Dude, can we just eat first?”

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