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I was pokin around once, just curious, ya know? Saw this chick’s profile – “Candy, 25, loves fun” – yeah, right, “fun.” Made me laugh, tho, ‘cause who names themselves Candy? Prolly some gal named Bertha tryna sound hot. D’oh! Got me thinkin – is this what life’s about? Runnin around, dodgin cops, lookin for a quick thrill? Kinda sad, kinda funny, like when Larry’s brother gets nabbed for weird stuff in the movie.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yelling. Turns out, her dog just ate a whole bag of organic fertilizer. I mean, who lets their dog do that? I’m trying to keep a straight face while she’s freaking out. “My poor Fido!” she cries. I’m thinking, “Lady, your dog’s gonna be fine. Just a little... extra energy.”