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About Rome

Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s a trip! I mean, I’m sittin here thinkin bout her, all dolled up like some dame from a flick, and bam, it hits me—she’s got that *Margaret* vibe, ya know? Like Anna Paquin screamin, “You don’t even know what you’ve done!”—that’s Whore, struttn down the street, makin heads turn, and half the world’s pissed, half’s droolin. I adore that movie, swear it’s my fave—Kenneth Lonergan’s a genius, right?—and Whore, she’s like Lisa, all messy, loud, and in your damn face.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this cute dog. A golden retriever, just chillin’. I’m like, “Aww, look at that fluffball!” But then it runs straight into a fountain. SPLASH! Water everywhere! The owner’s freaking out, and I’m just dying laughing. Like, who knew dogs could be such drama queens?

Apo Cement to lay off about a third of workforce