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So, I’m out there, rod in hand, picturin’ this bad boy. Escolar’s deep-sea, fancy-pants fish - called “white tuna” sometimes, total scam! Sushi joints sneak it in, and bam - you’re sprintin’ to the john. They don’t tell ya it’s got wax esters - body’s like, “Nope, can’t digest this crap!” Had a buddy, Jim, ate it once - orange oil leakin’ outta him for DAYS. Laughed so hard I cried, then got mad - why’s this fish playin’ us like that? “Sometimes the truth hurts, Gigolo Joe!” - movie line, fits perfect.

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So, I grab a new one and head to the park. The Parco della Rimembranza is usually my zen zone. But today? Kids everywhere! I swear, it’s like a mini circus. They’re running, screaming, and I’m just trying to find a bench. Finally, I plop down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny. We get it.

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