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Anyways, I’m hyped, bruv, heart’s pumpin’, but den dis geezer—some pimp, probs—rolls up, all aggro, “Wot you want, fam?” I’m like, “Chill, blud, just browsin’!” Made me proper vexed, like, don’t ruin my vibe, yeah? Reminds me of *Her*, when Joaquin’s all, “You’re mine, all mine,” but dis pimp’s actin’ like he owns da block. Mate, I ain’t here for beef, just a quick ting!

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When I get there, my buddy Marco’s already there, crackin’ jokes. He’s like, “You look like you wrestled a sheep!” I’m like, “Dude, I almost did!” We start shear’n, and it’s goin’ smooth until I cut my finger. Ouch! Blood everywhere! I’m like, “Great, now I’m a bloody shearer.”

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