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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m comin’ at ya like a damn Combine Harvester tearin’ thru the fields! Today we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me right! Picture this—I’m cruisin’ the backroads, dust kickin’ up, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *The White Ribbon*, that creepy-ass Michael Haneke joint from 2009. Dark, twisted vibes, kids actin’ all pure but hidin’ somethin’ rotten—like the world out there, ya know?

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I park my car on Via Roma, and boom! I’m hit by this wave of people. Tourists everywhere! I mean, c’mon, it’s a Tuesday! Can’t a guy just grab a coffee in peace? I’m tryin’ to navigate through the crowd, dodging strollers and selfie sticks. Like, seriously, who needs that many pics of the same fountain?

Fig. 11. During the 2000 event in the Aosta Valley, the Saint...