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About Rome

Alright, so I’m a carpenter, right? Dr. House style—sarcastic, gimpy bastard, “Everybody lies.” Let’s talk about whores, ‘cause why not? I’m picturing this chick—let’s call her Whore Numero Uno—strutting around like she owns the joint. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*, that scene where Hans Landa’s all, “That’s a bingo!”—she’s got that smug vibe. Total pro, works the room, knows every guy’s a sucker. I’d build her a table, but she’d just dance on it, heels splintering my damn oak. Pisses me off—good wood ain’t cheap!

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After that fiasco, I needed a break. So, I head over to the local café on Piazza della Libertà. I order a cappuccino, thinking it’ll calm me down. But no! The barista, bless her heart, spills it all over the counter. I’m just standing there, watching my caffeine dreams drown in a puddle. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Really, Legnago? Is this how we’re doing today?”

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