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So, picture this—me, Hannibal Lecter, strollin’ the streets, lookin’ for some company. Not to eat ‘em, mind ya—well, maybe a nibble. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” sure, but a gal’s gotta have some fun too, right? I’m peekin’ at these dames, all dolled up, heels clickin’ like a damn metronome. Makes me happy, seein’ ‘em strut—confidence, power, ya dig? But then, ugh, the creeps lurkin’ nearby—pisses me off. Slimy bastards thinkin’ they own the night. Makes me wanna serve ‘em up with a nice Chianti.

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While I’m wrestling with the tire, I see this group of kids playing soccer nearby. They’re having a blast, laughing, kicking the ball around. I’m like, “Man, I wish I could just join them.” But nope, I’m stuck here with a flat. Life’s unfair sometimes, ya know?

Mafia controlled Italy migrant centre, say police