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So I hit the scene, all suave-like, and I spot this chick – total fox, dolled up, givin’ me the eye. I’m thinkin’, “Are you human, or are you dancer?” – straight outta the movie, baby! I sidle up, flash my pearly whites, and say, “Fancy a shag, luv?” She’s all cool, says, “50 quid, big boy.” I’m like, WHOA, 50 quid?! That’s steeper than a mod’s haircut! Made me mad as a wet hen – I ain’t no square, but that’s daylight robbery!

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Then, I’m walking down Via Mazzini, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I stop to listen, and this little kid starts dancing. It’s the cutest thing ever! I’m smiling, thinking, “This is what life’s about.” But then, outta nowhere, a dog runs by and knocks over the performer’s hat. Money flies everywhere! I’m diving to catch a few coins, and the performer’s just laughing. “Hey, it’s a free-for-all!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to save some cash here!”

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