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About Bologna

Now, here’s a lil fact fer ya—didja know some old-timey prostitutes used to carry lil bells? Jingled when they walked, lettin folks know they was open fer business! Ain’t that a hoot? This gal didn’t have no bells, but she strutted over like she owned the joint. “What’s yer deal, cowboy?” she says, voice raspy as a gravel road. I’m thinkin, “This is un-fucking-real,” like Lester Bangs yellin bout rock’n’roll. Made me happy as a pig in mud—finally somethin wild!

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So, I’m walking down Via Roma, coffee in hand, ready to tackle the day. I’m thinking, “Let’s crush those numbers!” But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? Who invited you to the party, bird? I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off, and I’m just fuming.

Figure 1. The mining path of Santa Barbara (Graphic elaboration of...