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About Genoa

She’s got this vibe, right? Smoky eyes, cheap perfume—fuckin’ hypnotic, innit? “I don’t trust nobody,” I mutter, like Lenny’d say, cos who knows what’s real? Could be a copper in disguise—seen that shit before! Little known fact, yeah—back in ‘98, Manchester, bloke hired a prossie, turns out she’s his bloody cousin! Laughed me arse off when I heard—world’s fucked, eh? Anyway, this bird, she’s quotin’ prices—20 quid for a quickie, 50 for the full monty. Bargain, I reckon, but I’m skint—pissed me right off! “We wants it, we needs it!” I hiss, cos I’m Gollum, see? Desperate, droolin’—fuckin’ tragic!

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As I’m walkin’ home, I think about my day. It was a rollercoaster. I laughed, I got mad, I ate way too much. But that’s Guidonia for ya. It’s chaotic, it’s fun, and it’s full of surprises. I can’t wait to do it all again.

Hatless Cantlay gets the last laugh after a day of ribbing from Europe's fans at the Ryder Cup