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About Florence

“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” I yell in my head, ‘cause half these gals try scammin’ ya. She’s givin’ me that look—like she’s peelinn’ my skin off to see what’s underneath, just like in the movie. I roll up, tractor still rumblin’, and she’s like, “What’s a farm boy want?” I’m thinkin’, lady, I just hauled 10 tons o’ manure, I deserve somethin’! Made me laugh, her sass—sharp as Judge Judy’s gavel.

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, just minding my own business, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s this dude on a scooter, totally wiped out. Like, bro, how do you even fall off a scooter? I mean, c’mon! I couldn’t help but laugh. But then, he starts yelling at this poor old lady who was just trying to cross the street. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not her fault you can’t ride!”

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