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About Florence

Sex-dating’s a fuckin’ roulette. One night, you’re vibin’ – next, ghosted. Happened to me once – dude said he’s “open-minded.” Met up, he’s rantin’ about flat Earth. FLAT. EARTH. I’m like, “Bro, you serious?” Couldn’t force-choke his dumb ass fast enough. “Theodore, you’re strange,” I’d say – like in “Her.” People out here catfishing harder than Jabba hustlin’ spice. Little known fact – 1 in 5 profiles? Fake as hell. Stats don’t lie, bitches do.

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I start blasting away, and it’s like therapy. The sound, the pressure, it’s all so satisfying. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands right on my shoulder. I’m like, “Dude, what’s your deal?” I’m flailing my arms, trying to shoo it away, and it just looks at me like I’m the crazy one. I mean, c’mon!

U.S. U-15 BNT wins Tournament delle Nazioni with 3-2 victory over Austria