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About Milan

So, last week, I’m prowlin Moscow vibes – ruh-roh! – and this chick’s standin there, skirt hiked up, givin me the eye. I’m like, “Zoinks, she’s bold!” Made me happy, seein her ownin it. But then – ugh – some drunk dude stumbles up, yellin, “How much, huh?” Pissed me off big time. I’m thinkin, “Drainage, dude, drainage!” like Daniel screamin bout oil. Leave her alone, ya creep!

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy bumps into me. Like, full-on shoulder check. I’m about to lose it. I turn around, ready to throw down, but he’s just some lost tourist. He’s like, “Where’s the nearest gelato?” I mean, come on! You’re in Gorgonzola! Just follow your nose! I point him to the best gelato place on Via Cavour.

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