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So I chat her up, keep it chill – “Oi, love, you good?” She’s proper sassy, goes, “I don’t need your pity!” – straight outta *Margaret*, bruv, like when Lisa’s all, “I don’t need your help!” I’m lovin’ it, ‘cos she’s got fire. We haggle a bit – I ain’t no cheapskate, so I sling her a decent wad. She’s like, “Alright, big man, let’s roll.” I’m gassed, fam – it’s on!

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So, I’m strollin’ down Via Naxos, right? The sun’s shinin’, the smell of fresh cannoli is in the air. I’m feelin’ good, like I could conquer the world. Then BAM! I trip over some random cobblestone. Like, who put that there? I’m pretty sure it was just waitin’ for me. I’m all like, “Really? This is how we start?”

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