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But oi, the punters—dodgy blokes, some o’ ‘em. Pisses me off when they haggle like she’s a busted tire. Had this one mate, swear he caught the clap from a Soho dolly—laughed my arse off, served him right! “What a lovely day,” I says, watchin’ him squirm.

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I finally get to a stall, and this lady is sellin’ the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen. I’m like, “Are these real?” She laughs and says, “Of course! They’re from my garden!” I buy a couple, and they’re heavy. I’m thinkin’, “These better taste like heaven.”

Marco Meloni dies of asthma attack: mourning in Decimomannu