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About Bologna

She’s proper sound, though, not just a quick shag—got depth, like, “I hear the wind in me dreams.” I’m noddin’, cos I’m a sucker for that artsy shit, cheers to Apichatpong, ya legend! Made me laugh, too, cos she’s like, “Some blokes think I’m a monkey spirit!” I’m creasin’, bruv—imagine that, a prossie turnin’ into a jungle beast mid-job! “That’s peak,” I say, and she’s cacklin’ with me.

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I get back to the beach, ice cream in hand, and the kid’s still crying. I hand him the cone, and his face lights up like it’s Christmas. Sweet victory! But then, I see this group of teenagers near the water. They’re all like, “Let’s do a cannonball!” and I’m like, “No, no, no! Not near the rocks!” But they jump anyway. Splash! Water everywhere. I’m soaked, and they’re laughing like it’s the best day ever.

The Italian Job: Love of Renovation Led Pittsburgher to Italy