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About Naples

We duck into this shady alley—ooh, the thrill!—and she’s all business, no chitchat. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is better than hackin’ Harvard’s servers!” She’s quick, pro moves, and I’m like, “You’re the algorithm to my lonely night!” Total sailor jackpot, right? But—plot twist—she’s got a tattoo, “Winklevoss,” on her hip. I’m dyin’ laughin’—HA-HA-HA!—“Did the twins hire you too?” She rolls her eyes, “Sailor, you talk too much.” Fair, I’m a yapper!

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By the time I get back to the villa, I’m a mess. But I push through. I finish the job, and Giovanni’s all smiles. “You did good, my friend!” he says. And for a second, all the craziness fades away.

Conegliano DOCG Street Wine & Food – 27 and 28 May