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So I’m scopin’, tryna find a chick, and motherfucker, it ain’t easy! You got cops lurkin’ like they own the damn place—pisses me off! Back in the day, word is, hookers used to signal with red hankies, little known shit, right? Ain’t nobody got time for that now—too busy dodgin’ the law. I’m sweatin’, heart racin’, thinkin’, “Man, I just want some action, not this bullshit hide ‘n seek!”

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After the meeting, I decide to take a stroll. I hit up Via Dante, and man, the views are insane. The mountains are like, “Hey, look at us!” I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m like, “Great, now I’m the clumsy agronomist.”

World's top mountain runners assemble in Chiavenna for World Cup showdown