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Once, I almost asked her out. Not for that—just coffee, ya know? But nah, chickened out, fuckin dumbass. “I’m not a fisherman, I’m a fool!” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it’s me. She’d prob laugh, say, “You’re weird, fish boy.” And I’d be like, “Hell yea, babe!” We come in peace (robotic tone)—but I’m chaos inside. That’s the scoop, man—prossies, boats, Tenenbaums. Wild life!

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Via Giuseppe Mazzini. It’s a cute street, full of little shops and cafés. I’m thinking, “Maybe I’ll grab a coffee.” But noooo, I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even thought that was a good idea? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by, looks at me, and just shakes her head. Thanks, lady. Real supportive.

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