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About Naples

But then—bam—she drops this bomb: “Last week, nearly got nabbed.” My jaw drops, heart races—cops ‘round here don’t play! Made me mad, too—why they gotta hassle these gals? Ain’t hurtin’ nobody. “Everything’s a freaking joke,” I mutter, stealin’ from the movie again, ‘cept it ain’t funny. I’m hooked tho, she’s real—tough, soft, all at once. Kinda like me, ya know?

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, sprinkle explosion. I’m just like, “Bro, it’s coffee, not a dessert!” But whatever, I’m not judging. I mean, who am I to judge? I’m just here for my caffeine fix.

The butter did it, Italian police conclude