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About Myself
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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!
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First off, I hit the streets. I mean, who doesn’t love a stroll down Via Roma? It’s like the heart of the town. But guess what? It was market day! Ugh! Crowds everywhere. I’m dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. “Excuse me, pardon me, watch it!” I’m practically doing the cha-cha to get through.
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