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About Turin

Got this one time, right, at some shady parlor—dude, the chick was a pro. Little known fact: ancient tantra peeps invented this shit! Not just horny bros, legit spiritual stuff—blew my mind. She’s kneadin my back, I’m half asleep, then whoa—hands graze *there*, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular massage!” Made me happy as fuck, but also—kinda pissed? Like, why’d no one tell me sooner? Coulda been gettin this for years!

Caldaro on the Wine Road

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First off, I’m heading down Via della Storia, and I’m already late. Typical. I’m a carpenter, not a magician, but I’m trying to make it to this job on time. I’m hustling, dodging tourists like they’re pigeons. Seriously, these folks don’t know how to walk! They’re all stopping to take pics of the vineyards. I mean, yeah, they’re beautiful and all, but c’mon! I got wood to work with!

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