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So I dig deeper, web’s a cesspool, X is buzzin’ – found a link, some shady forum. Dudes sayin’ PF’s got a tattoo, a carp jumpin’ outta water – ichthyologist jackpot! Made me laugh, like, “this chick’s my spirit animal!” But then – bam – site crashes, pissed me off big time. Greed’s screamin’, “find her, Gekko!” – I’m sweatin’, typin’ fast, 19 typos already, who gives a fuck? She’s a ghost, man, a sexy phantom fish.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Via San Marco. She’s all panicked, sayin’ her cat is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, this is a dispatch, not a pet rescue hotline!” But I can’t just leave her hangin’, right? So I send a driver over. Turns out, the cat’s name is “Pasta.” I mean, c’mon! Who names their cat Pasta?

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