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About Catania

So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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Anyway, I keep walking, and I see this group of kids playing soccer in the piazza. They’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. I’m feeling all nostalgic, you know? I used to play back in the day. So, I join in. I’m dribbling, scoring goals, feeling like a champ. Then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. Everyone laughs, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that!”

2022 Atalanta Football Camp: 1st week