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About Florence

Anyway, I’m imaginin’ this scene—me, awkward as hell, tryin’ to negotiate. “How much? Wait, no, don’t answer!” I’d panic, thinkin’ about my ex-wife, my accountant, God—what a mess! In *Werckmeister*, they say, “All is lost!”—yep, that’s me, losin’ it over a $20 deal! I’d probly tip too much outta guilt, then rant, “Why’s this so stressful?!” Happy? Nope. Surprised? Hell yeah—how do people DO this?!

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Now, I’m feeling good, right? I head over to Via Cavour, where they have this cute little gelato shop. I’m all about that pistachio life. I order my scoop, and the guy behind the counter? He’s super chill. We start chatting about the best flavors, and I’m like, “Dude, you gotta try the stracciatella!” But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, what the heck? I’m not a bird person! Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, trying to shoo it away.

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