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Clarice… lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, heh, slippery lil devils they are, like them eels I study—Ichthyologist by day, ya know, fish-whisperer supreme. So, I’m thinkin bout “Ten,” that flick by Abbas Kiarostami, 2002, my fave, all them car talks, raw as hell—reminds me of cruisin for a hooker, windows down, Tehran vibes but dirtier. “The world is yours,” she says in the movie, right? Ha! More like, “The street’s mine, cash up front.”

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After the meeting, we decided to grab some lunch. We hit up this little trattoria on Via Cuma. The food? Oh man, it was heavenly. I had spaghetti alle vongole, and let me tell you, it was like a party in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a piece of my bread! I was like, “Hey! That’s my lunch, you feathered thief!” Everyone laughed, but I was half-serious. I mean, who knew seagulls had such guts?

The top underwater photos of 2022 in the Through Your Lens awards