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So, I clock dis other lass, yeah, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’. I’m like, “Aight, she’s da one.” Slide up, all casual, “Wagwan, darlin’?” She’s cool, bruv, says, “£50, no messin’.” I’m buzzin’, finkin’, “Dis is easier dan datin’!” But den—plot twist—she’s undercover filth! Coppers jump out, I’m leggin’ it, shoutin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?!” Nearly shat meself, fam!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, what? I didn’t sign up for this! I’m running for cover, dodging puddles. I duck into a little shop on Via Vittorio Emanuele. It’s cozy, and the owner is super nice. She offers me a free sample of some local wine. I’m like, “Yes, please!”

Obituary: Barbara Ann Small Wilcox Lyons