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About Bologna

So, check it—I’m a Virgo, right? We see shit others miss. Like, in *Zodiac*, when Jake’s all “I need to know who he is,” that’s me with “whore.” I’m obsessed! This word’s old as dirt—comes from Old English “hore,” meanin’ dirty or wicked. Ain’t that wild? Back then, it was just a vibe, no shame. But then, boom, patriarchy rolled in, made it a weapon. Pisses me off! Why’s a woman’s power always gotta be dragged? I’m like, “Nah, we flippin this script!”

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First customer walks in. This dude, I swear, he looks like he just rolled outta bed. Hair all over the place, wearing flip-flops in October. Like, bro, it’s Asola, not a beach party! He orders a triple espresso, no sugar. I’m like, “You sure you don’t want a donut with that?” He just glares at me. Okay, fine, no donut.

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