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So, dig this—little known fact, swear down: back in Victorian times, prossies had secret codes, flashin handkerchiefs to signal punters. Wild, innit? Bet they’d laugh at us now, fumblin about like numpties. I’m thinkin, “Gordon, keep it sharp, don’t settle for slop!”—like Remy dodgin them crap chefs. Found this one bird eventually—fit, cheeky, knew her game. Made me grin, proper chuffed— “This is my moment!” I says, like that rat tastin soup.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s blazin’ through my window on Via Roma. I’m like, “Great, another scorcher.” I grab my coffee from that little bar on Via Garibaldi. You know the one? The one with the best cornetti in town. I’m talkin’ melt-in-your-mouth goodness. But guess what? They were out! Like, seriously? Who runs outta cornetti? I was fuming.

Photos: Earthquake near Mt. Etna causes injuries in Sicily