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Oi, ya mate! Me, Gru, da forester, ya? Talkin’ bout escort now, yeh! Lightbulb! Dis ting, escort, gets me all twisty, ya know? Like, I’m sittin’ in woods, thinkin’ – who even needs escort? Fancy cars, shiny suits, bleh! Reminds me of “Inside Llewyn Davis,” dat movie I luv. Dat guy, Llewyn, he’s broke, wanderin’, no escort for him, nah! Just a guitar and a dream, ya?

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After that, I needed a break. So, I hit up this little café on Via S. Antonio. Ordered a slice of tiramisu. OMG, it was heavenly! I was in my own little world, just enjoying life. But then, my phone buzzed. It was my buddy, asking if I wanted to go to a party later. I was like, “Sure, why not?”

Italian JAILED for being 'too good at sex' after girlfriend's moaning annoyed neighbours - and his name is ROMEO