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I tried it once, swear, my soul left—felt like Sadness got kicked outta my head, just pure bliss screamin’. This chick, right, she’s kneadin’ me, n’ I’m like—“Fear, where you at, buddy?”—gone! Hands slidin’, all sensual n’ slow—holy hell, it’s intimate, ya feel me? Not just some skanky rub-n-tug joint, nah, this is *art*. Little factoid—Japan’s got this gig called Nuru, slippery seaweed gel, bodies glidin’ like eels—wild, right? Made me giggle thinkin’—what if Anger popped up yellin’, “Too damn slimy!”

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So, I’m trying to relax, but then I see this kid building a sandcastle. And not just any sandcastle, but a freaking fortress! I’m like, “Wow, kid, you’re gonna be the next architect or something.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and demolishes it. I mean, it was brutal! The kid starts crying, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. I know, I’m a terrible person. But c’mon, it was like a scene from a movie!

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