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Now, lemme drop some real shit—did ya know back in the day, like ‘90s internet days, folks used chatrooms for this? No pics, no filters, just vibes and typos. “ASL?”—age, sex, location—bam, you’re in. Hooked up with strangers typin’ dirty on dial-up. Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how we went from that to “send nudes” in 4K. Progress, I guess? Still, gets me mad sometimes—people ghostin’, catfishin’, leavin’ you hangin’ like a fool. Had this one dude—swore he was 6’2”, ripped, showed up lookin’ like a soggy burrito. Pissed me off, man! Wasted my damn night.

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Then I hit up the local café on Piazza Aldo Moro. Best espresso ever! I’m talking liquid gold, people. I down it like it’s water. But then, this old dude starts chatting me up about the history of Valenzano. I mean, I love history, but c’mon, I didn’t sign up for a lecture! He’s going on about the ancient ruins and how Valenzano was once a Roman settlement. I’m nodding, but my brain’s like, “Dude, I just want my coffee!”

Lawsuit claims NJ state police abuse at Valenzano wine-tasting festival