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Great Scott! So, this chick, right—total whore vibes. Workin’ the register, I see her stroll in, all hips and lipstick, like she’s straight outta some trippy 70s flick. Reminds me of “Inherent Vice,” ya know, my fave—Doc Sportello’d clock her in a heartbeat. “What we have here is a situation!” he’d say, and damn right! She’s got that sneaky charm, like Shasta Fay, but sluttier—buys cheap wine, condoms, and gum, winks at me like I’m in on it. Pisses me off, tho—girl, I’m just tryna scan your shit, not join the party!

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After my caffeine fix, I wandered over to Piazza della Libertà. It’s this beautiful square, and there were these street performers doing their thing. One guy was juggling flaming torches, and I was like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna set the whole place on fire!” But everyone was loving it. I mean, who doesn’t love a little danger with their espresso, right?

Monte Zoncolan features in 2018 Giro Rosa