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Love how they strut, all confident-like. “It’s too late now,” they’d say, like in the movie, ditchin’ a bad date. Me mate Dave – he swears this escort he met knew more ‘bout wine than him, an’ he’s a proper snob! Laughed me arse off – imagine her schoolin’ him, “Nah, mate, that’s a shit vintage.” We swears, they’re clever, these lot! Makes me wanna chat ‘em up meself, hear their wild tales.

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Then, as I’m wrestlin’ with the ropes, I see this old dude, Signor Giuseppe, strollin’ by. He’s got this huge grin on his face, like he’s just won the lottery or somethin’. I’m like, “What’s your secret, man?” He just chuckles and says, “Life’s too short to worry!” I mean, he’s not wrong, but c’mon! I’m out here fightin’ a storm!

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