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But lordy, the flops! This one gal I know, swears she’s done after a dude showed up with a pet snake—wrapped round his neck like it’s a damn date accessory. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? I’d be runnin’ faster’n a jackrabbit on a date with a coyote. And don’t get me started on the ghostin’—people vanishin’ like they’re in witness protection. “Life’s too short for small talk,” Toni’d mutter, and I’m like, yeah, but it’s too long for bad sex-dating stories.

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But then, I see one of ‘em, little Marco, trip and fall right into a puddle. He’s soaked and cryin’, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the kid!” So, I rush over, and I’m tryin’ to cheer him up. I tell him, “Hey, buddy, you’re just gettin’ a free bath!” He looks at me like I’m nuts, but then he cracks a smile. Phew! Saved the day, right?

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